I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
