hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
