He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
