The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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