I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
