508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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