Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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