I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
