i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
