so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize