Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
