this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
