It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
