Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize