They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
