Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
