She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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