I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
