i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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