i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
