You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
