So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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