so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
