Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
