billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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