its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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