and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
