If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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