Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
