Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
