When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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