It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
