I CAN MOONWALK!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
