Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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