On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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