the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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