i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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