I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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