Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
