I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she smelled like a LAN party
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
