spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
