Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
