So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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