Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
