God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
