went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize