google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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