i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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