yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
