sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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