Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
