You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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