I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
