I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
