i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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