Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
