I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
