it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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