He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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