smell my finger.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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