She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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