I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
