Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she peed on how many people?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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