Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
