drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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