Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
