She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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